Last week, I lost my last living mentor.
The news hit me harder than I expected. While I knew he had lived a full life and left behind an extraordinary legacy, his passing marked the end of a chapter in my own life as well. It caused me to pause and reflect not only on the man he was, but on the profound impact mentors have on the people they guide.
As I thought back to my early years in the private club industry, I found myself smiling at memories from more than thirty years ago. I was a young Assistant General Manager, eager to learn, eager to prove myself, and convinced that success would come from mastering budgets, operations, food and beverage, and membership development.
What I didn’t understand at the time was that some of the most important lessons I would ever learn would not come from a textbook, a seminar, or a certification program. They would come from watching experienced leaders navigate challenges, build relationships, make difficult decisions, and carry themselves with professionalism and grace.
The older I get, the more I appreciate that every successful career is built upon the generosity of those who came before us. None of us arrive where we are alone. Along the way, someone opens a door, offers encouragement, shares wisdom, provides guidance, or simply demonstrates what excellence looks like through their daily actions.
As I reflected on the life of my mentor, I found myself thinking about the incredible journey that takes place over the course of a professional lifetime. At some point, we are all mentees.
I remember being a young Assistant General Manager in the early 1990s, trying to learn everything I could about the private club business. Like most young managers, I thought I needed to learn budgets, operations, food and beverage, membership, and leadership.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was also learning from the people around me.
I watched how successful leaders carried themselves. I watched how they handled pressure, interacted with members, managed employees, and made difficult decisions. Some lessons were taught intentionally. Others were learned simply by paying attention.
Looking back, many of the things I still practice today were learned more than thirty years ago from mentors who took the time to invest in a young manager with a lot to learn.
As the years passed, something interesting happened.
Without even realizing it, I slowly transitioned from being the mentee to becoming the mentor.
One day you find yourself answering the same questions you once asked. You hear yourself sharing advice that was given to you years earlier. You watch young professionals struggle with the same challenges you faced early in your career, and you find yourself wanting to help them succeed.
That is when you realize mentorship is not a destination. It is a relay race.
Someone hands the baton to you. You carry it for a while. Then it becomes your responsibility to pass it to the next generation.
Today, nearly four decades into my career, I am grateful for every mentor who invested in me. Their lessons helped shape the leader I became. Just as importantly, they taught me the responsibility that comes with experience.
Find a mentor.
Listen carefully.
Learn everything you can.
Then, when your time comes, become one.
Because the greatest legacy any leader leaves behind is not found in a title, a building, or a résumé.
It is found in the people they helped along the way.